Seeing Ourselves
Never believe what people say about themselves. It's not that people lie, usually anyway, it's simply that people have a distorted idea about what they are really like. If you believe online personals then all men are friendly, intelligent and have sense of humour. All women are honest and know what they want in life (I've never understood why women consider that a virtue).
One aspect of maturity is how close your idea of yourself corresponds with reality, and most people are pretty immature. As the Scottish poet, Robbie Burns put it
O wad some power
the giftie gie us.
To see ourselves
as ithers see us.
In some instances the contrast between a person's view of themselves and our view of them is obvious, and sometimes laughable. The useless person who boasts about how good he is at his job, and them makes numerous excuses when it things don't quite work out. The bloke who thinks he has a good understanding of women but who women think is smarmy. Rarely will we confront others about their inadequacies. For a start it doesn't work: if people don't realise the obvious hints they are not going to admit their faults when directly confronted. All it does it make for a bad atmosphere. There's also the nagging thought at the back of our mind that if we tell them about their faults then they may do the same to us. Some things are best left alone.
Mostly, people's misconceptions about themselves are not so blatant. The most common fault is hypocrisy. We are guilty of the same habits that we dislike in others. So, for example, when women say they dislike dishonesty they are often blind to their own dishonest patterns and see their own dishonest practices as being simply strong minded so they are not pushed around by others. This is how people deceive themselves.
I pointed out ('Opposites') that people initially have an affinity with others who are similar, but this often turns into resentment and even hate. What they grow to dislike is the reflection of their own destructive traits. Real mystical teachers hold a mirror up to the student so they can see what their real motives are. Unfortunately, there are very few real teachers and even fewer pupils who can look into the mirror and not run away.
