Single Mothers and Girls
In Western countries there is concern that children, particularly boys, are not being exposed sufficiently to male influences. In Australia 9.7% of children are from singe parent families. In America the proportion is much higher:
Single parents account for 28 percent of all households with children according to the 2000 Census (Simmons and O’Neil 2001) and 50 to 60 percent of children born during the 1990s will spend some time living with a single parent, usually their mother (Bumpass and Sweet 1989; Cherlin and Furstenberg 1991). Research has consistently shown that growing up in a single-parent family is associated with negative consequences for children (McLanahan and Sandefur 1994). For example, adolescents from disrupted and single-parent homes are more likely to experience lower school achievement and aspirations (McLanahan and Sandefur 1994), increased psychological distress (Aseltine 1996; Hetherington and Clingempeel 1992; Zill and Peterson 1986), earlier initiation of substance use and sexual activity (Flewelling and Bauman 1990), increased vulnerability to health problems (Dawson 1991), and greater likelihood of engaging in problem behaviours or deviant activities (Dornbusch, Carlsmith, Bushwall, Ritter, Leiderman, Hastorf, and Gross 1985). Much of these differences have been attributed to single mothers’ high rates of poverty (McLanahan and Sandefur 1994). University of Chicago
The vast majority of single parent families have a mother and no father. These single parent families have well documented problems but this is not the issue I wish to discuss here.
Boys brought up without a father find it difficult to relate to their own feelings. Most schoolteachers are female; consequently many boys can go days or weeks with no real contact with other males. Generally, they find guidance in figures from the media – movie stars and figures from television. Not only do these figures present narrow two-dimensional stereotypes, but also they present a role model that most people would find undesirable, for example emotions are expressed by violence and love is expressed by sex.
There is another problem, however, that many people ignore and that is the effect of girls brought up without a father. Girls from broken homes, particularly where the father was violent, are unable to relate to masculine energy as they associate masculinity with violence. In many cases, the daughters will marry a man who reminds them of their father, only to find they take the same route as their mother did, into a violent relationship that culminates in an acrimonious separation, assuming that she survives the relationship.
Girls without fathers are unable to relate to men except in sexual terms. The
women's movement complains that men see women purely as sex objects. I've mentioned
before (‘Superficiality’) that many women have little else to offer other than
their sexuality. Not having a male role model means that as girls they never
related to men on day-to-day terms. They don't see men as people but simply
as objects they can manipulate (and in many cases they can manipulate them very
easily). Often, the mothers who had similar immature relationship with men encourage
them in this. These women develop a contemptuous view of men which in turn leads
to boys brought up in these households having low self esteem.
