Talking About Emotions
A discussion program on the radio raised the point that men should be more open about their emotions, be more demonstrative and talk about them. According to this program women are able to talk about emotions whereas men aren't. There is another side to this: maybe women ought to learn from men and keep quiet instead of blindly talking about each nuance of feeling.
In a previous generation it was considered that men should keep a 'stiff upper lip'. It was considered a sign of weakness to show emotion. Nowadays there is the assumption that if someone doesn't show emotion then they don't feel it. To some extent this facile one-dimensional view is seeded in Hollywood movies and TV. On film it's difficult to show emotions without having some manifestation of the emotion so when men get angry in movies they break things. In real life this would (I hope) be considered aberrant behaviour.
Someone who doesn't express emotion may not feel it. On the other hand, they may simply not show it or talk about it. Talking about how you feel may simply degrade something that is personal into cliches. Sometimes when relationships go bad the man complains that all they ever did was talk about the same things over and over. Sometimes it's best NOT to talk.
The reason why keeping a stiff upper lip (in men anyway) was considered important was that it helped to develop objectivity. If you can feel the emotion but not get carried away by it then you can learn to observe the emotion: where it comes from, what you feel when it arises, how it influences your thinking and so on. Of course, many people who keep the stiff upper lip are simply cold people who are cut off from their emotions, but don't kid yourself - many people who are very quick to talk about their emotions may actually be incapable of any real feeling, as I've pointed out before (' Opposites').
It's not the case that either way is right or wrong - either the traditional, silent, male way or the talkative female way. Each has its time and place.
