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The Addictive Personality In life there is one attribute that is essential for survival. That is the ability to pick yourself up after a fall. As someone once put it: to slip on a banana skin, pick yourself up, brush yourself down and continue walking. It has been found by psychiatrists that whereas some people will drink alcohol in moderation, others will become alcoholics. Similarly, some people will develop a drug habit when exposed to drugs whereas others will be able to walk away. I've mentioned before (‘Truancy (and Journalists)’) that the idea that addiction is purely a physiological response to a drug is a myth. There are addictive personalities – people who develop a dependency, whether this is to drugs, sex or even self-mutilation. Of addicts who have been on ‘rehab’ to come off the drug, only around 20 –30% are successful. One of the characteristics of such addictive personalities is that they lack the ability to take setbacks in life. These setbacks may be the minor ones that most people shrug off, for instance being turned down for a job, or major ones. Sometimes people who have spent years building up a successful business become alcoholics when their business goes bust. I mentioned before (‘Mothers and Fathers’) that traditionally the kind of love provided by each parent was of a different nature. Whereas the mother’s love was unconditional, the father was more reserved. One of the characteristics of the addictive personality is that they are unable to separate love and criticism. When someone criticises them they feel rejected and unloved. This is often because the mother did not provide the unconditional love that serves as a bedrock on which the well-adjusted person builds on.